'Twas the Night Before Louisville...

I wrote this today on my lunch break....enjoy and share with your friends! =)

'Twas the night before tipoff and throughout Big Blue Nation, fans were ready to give Kentucky a standing ovation. As the night became late and game time drew near, their 15th Final Four soon would be here.

Coach Cal was restless and tossed in his bed, as visions of his first championship danced in his head.  Wiltjer slept in his jersey, Vargas hadn't made a peep while some players struggled even to sleep.

The Cardinals were hot and had made a late run, but the Cats came to town to spoil all their fun.  Thought of playing on Monday, they would love the chance, but like Darius says, "survive and advance."

In transition they're vicious, they can be lights out with the 3, and then there's the one we call M-K-G.  They've been highly regarded ever since day one and Cal just wants them to win and have fun. 

So Davis, and Jones, and Lamb we will need. We'll hear Cal yell from the bench, "Hey Marquis...take the lead!"  They arrived in New Orleans with a plan so great and, this one, a battle of the Bluegrass State.

The biggest semi game in history (for all that we know) and what better way to win than to take down Pitino!  All around the country fans will soon gather,eager to watch all that Wildcat Swagger.

So, fans, here we are only one day away, until we can chime 'WE ARE UK!"  Then once and for all and without hesitation the best fans in basketball, for Big Blue Nation.

A victory over Louisville will certainly be great, BUT no greater than getting back to Rupp to hang banner number 8.

-Ashley

Love God. Love others. End of story.

The last couple of weeks have been very eye opening for me.  I have learned a lot about myself and realized a lot of things I probably should have been doing a long time ago.  This life should be very simple.  Love God. Love others.  Everything else is just a note in this melody that makes our life.  I'm not sure at what point I got so caught up in my own life and making decisions I think are best for me that I forgot the biggest thing of all.  This life isn't about me...at all.  I needed to get my life in check, and fast. 

I have spent a lot of the last two weeks alone and I have spent the majority of that time praying.  I have had no specific requests, just that God lead me in the direction He intended for me to go.  To reveal to me, even a little bit, part of the plan He had created for my life.  I think we all get to a point in our lives where we could use a little clarity and I needed it more than ever and I knew there was only one person who could  give it to me. 

I have gone down so many roads in my life and have had to turn around and get back to the intersection and say okay, what's next.  I chose the paths that were most convenient for ME at the time and ignored everything else.  Well, guess where that got me?  Nowhere.  It's amazing what you discover when you let go and let God. I read the parable of the prodigal son a few times and have given thanks to God for serving Him....who is ALWAYS faithful even when I am not.

Love God. 

I do my best to encourage those people in my life.  I try to keep up with what is going on in their lives, but I think I need to do a better job of just unconditionally loving people.  I think the people who are the hardest to love are the ones who need it the most.  I also think I sometimes only love people who love me in return and that can't always be the case.  I enourage you to lift someone up in prayer who you are having trouble forgiving for something, someone who can't do anything for you, give you anything....just love them. Enourage them.  It's amazing what love can do.  It is the most powerful, unselfish, amazing gift we can ever give someone and I don't think we do it enough. 

Love people. 

I am doing my best to follow the path God has given me.  I am taking everyday as a blessing and accepting of the gifts He is giving me and I'll tell you one thing...my heart is overflowing with happiness.  I feel extremely humbled and blessed to be on this amazing journey and I can have faith in knowing that no matter how many times I may stumble there is someone  who will never give up on me as long as I continue to seek Him in all that I am and all that I do. 

I hope you all have an amazingly wonderful week.  You are all so special to me and I hope that you know how thankful I am to have each and every one of you in my life. 

Until next time.....(which I promise won't be so long next time!)

What its all about...in my mind anyway.

It's so true what they say...life isn't about finding yourself, its about creating yourself.  I absolutely believe that.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing something wrong or if I should have more answers than I do.  I struggle alot, trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing with my life.  When I sit down to think about it...I realize that those moments ARE my life.  This is what it's all about. Losing and finding yourself, making mistakes, learning lessons, and creating an opportunity for yourself to do something amazing with your life. 

I am 28 years old.  I live in my parents basement....and yes, I'm still trying to figure it all out.  I'm okay with that.  I could have a full time job, a husband, maybe a couple of kids, but I can tell you I know I wouldn't be happy. Now, I don't mean I don't want all of those things...I absolutely do. I just feel like if I were to have all that right now, I would be settling for something that isn't everything I want and that is just something I cannot do.  I would rather be happy and I think we often forget that we must work in order to live and not live to work. 

Life isn't about your 8/9-5.  It's about so much more than that.  I feel like far too often we get caught up in that work is our life and forget about what really matters.  Establishing, building, and maintaining relationships with family and friends, taking time to do what you love and surround yourself with people who make you laugh.  I would rather have all of that and an okay job than a job where I worked all the time, made great money, but had virtually no special relationships in my life. 

I am so thankful to have a lot of amazing people in my little world.  Despite my "lack of direction" I feel like I'm absolutely on the right path...if that makes sense. =) I hope that whatever you are doing with your life, you're happy.  My motto is that life is way too short to be anything but happy.  I hope you live by it too. 

Hope you all have an amazingly wonderful day.

Until next time...

Kids say the darndest things...

So, last fall I went to visit my cousin Courtney & her husband, Brett, in Springfield.  There was a UFC fight one of the nights I was there so we went to their neighbors house and below is an actual conversation I had with an insightful 4 year old named Ethan.  I ran across this in a note I had posted on Facebook after it happened and it still makes me laugh.

E: "Do you have a son?"
A: "No."
E: "Do you have a daughter?"
A: "No."
E: "You mean it's just yourself?!?!"
A: "Yep. That's right."
E: "Well why don't you have any kids?"
A: "Because I'm not married."
E: "Well, why aren't you married?"
A: "Because I...wait...where are your parents?"

E: "Girls don't drink beer."
A: "Shouldn't you be in bed?"


I couldn't help but laugh. Anyway...just a little funny to brighten your weekend.  Actual post coming on Monday so come back & visit soon. =)

Taking my own advice...

So, I was cleaning out my e-mail earlier today and ran across this message.  I sent this e-mail to a friend who was struggling at the time, but it's funny how I read it when I needed to hear it.  Definitely needed to hear this and take my own advice.  I hope that if you're at a point of uncertainty in your life that these words help you too... as much as I hope they helped my friend and as much as they helped me.  Hope you all have a wonderful week.

Until next time...

_____________________________________________________________________

It's so crazy you e-mailed me because you've been on my mind/heart alot lately.  I just have this feeling lately that you're not happy...like at all. Trust me when I say that I can completely understand how you feel. I've been there...more than once. Sometimes I feel like nothing works out for me...ever. But, by the grace of God, I can wake up with an honest smile on my face because I trust that in HIS perfect timing my life will workout and I can look back on everything and say wow...it really was worth it.

I can do all I want to try and fill the voids in my life, but I will be disappointed every single time because if I'm doing things because I want them to happen then they will never work....no matter how bad I think I want them to.  It's hard to let go of something you love (hardest thing I've ever done), but at some point you have to just give it to God and let Him make of it what is to be made of it. 

I hope that you're still seeking the Lord with all your heart.  That is the only way you will find true happiness. Sometimes you have to lose everything in order to gain anything and thats scary! There is only one thing you have to do in order to get this amazing future God has promised...you have to pray about it...all the time.  Its all about surrender and just falling to your knees. Praising God should be your first reaction instead of your last resort and always remember that prayer is just as important when the sun is shining as it is when it rains.

I pray for you every night for you to find your way. But like I told you before, I can want this for you all I want, but your heart has to be in it...110%. Things happen in this life that I fail to understand daily, but I rest in the fact that God will never put something in my life without giving me the strength to deal with it first.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

So, tomorrow is my dad's birthday.  If you know me, even a little bit, you know even though my mom is my best friend, I'm a daddy's girl through and through.  I am so blessed God chose me to be his daughter.  We have an incredible relationship that I am beyond thankful for.  He is an amazing husband to my mother (for 34 years), a brother, son, uncle, friend, coach (to a bunch of awesome young ladies), and a wonderful father (to me AND Maggie!).

He coached me in little league, has been there for all of my firsts....kindergarten, high school, college, grad school, boyfriends, & breakups.  He fixes my flats when I run over potholes - yes plural (sorry, dad) and is an extremely hard working man.  I love talking sports with him and our little inside joke of making this crazy face when no one else is looking....until my mom gets mad because she thinks we are leaving her out,(oh, Sandy).  I could seriously go on and on!  My dad is awesome and I thank God everyday for putting such a stable, honest, dependable, loving man in my life to teach me all the ways of the world.  I'm almost 28 and he still calls me Tootie and I love that.  So, happy birthday dad.  Thanks for always being there for me, for loving me (& mom), and being the best dad and one of the most amazingly cool people I have ever met. Every girl should be as blessed as I have been/will be. I LOVE YOU!

Life as I know it...

It's amazing the things you can figure out at night when you're laying in a cold dark room, staring at a ceiling you can't see with your mind wandering in circles about things that make you go hmmmmm..... Jason Mraz lyrics fill the air with the music that is like a soundtrack of my soul. Searching for meaning in this ever changing world can be exhausting because its a journey with no end. I've discovered that simply being alive is good enough for me. Doing things that make me happy and living my life with a faith in God that sets my heart on fire. I am completley unafraid of what life might throw at me. Embracing change with open arms and loving that tomorrow is a new day. A clean slate to make the most of. Reconnecting with the me that makes me happy. Stepping out into a cruel world with scars on my heart. Some of which are almost too painful to look at and others were self inflicted. Realizing this is who I am...and being completely content with it. I will close my eyes and drift off to sleep, only to wake up to a reality that is better than anything in my dreams. Ready to take on the world and be the very best me that I can. Unique to the core and happy that the smile on my face is the best accessory I will put on all day. Loving everyone in my life for all the things they have taught me, what the new ones will teach me, and for loving me in return for just. being. me.

 

Until next time....

A little of this...a lot of that..

So, I start blogs all the time and never seem to get around to finishing them. Here are pieces of blogs that never got an ending. They were all worthy of finishing, but thought it might be fun to look at them all in one place. Anyway, here you go.  They were never meant to be put in one place, but reading them you can get a jist of where I was trying to go. New blog with one thought coming shortly! Happy reading. =)

__________________________________________

Exerpt #1
There are so many moments in my life I wish I could relive. It's crazy how when we look back on the little moments and realize that they were really big moments. I hate missing people more than anything. That feeling in your gut that there is no cure for. You know? Especially when you miss people who are only in your memory.

                            

I am guilty of taking people for granted in my life. I made a vow to myself recently that I never wanted the people in my life to wonder if I cared about them. I look back on my life and wish I had told people that I loved them more often or how much I cared about them, appreciated them. Some of those people are alive and I can certainly fix that, but some of them aren't and I just have to hope that they knew. I hate that.

I hate that I get so caught up in my own life that I tend to forget to be involved in others lives. Many of my friends have spouses and kids. Some of my friends have been through divorce. A few of my friends have lost someone who meant the world to them and I can't even seem to find time in my day to ask them how they are. How selfish is that? I care about everyone in my life and care enough that I should be asking them what's new, what's up, or even just saying hello more often.

I guess what I'm getting at is that I wish we spent more time loving on people. I feel like we tend to forget we are all in this together. We allow ourselves to get caught up in the drama and the he said she said of it all and fail to realize that we are all we have. We need other people in our lives to lean on, to help us get through the tough times and it honestly makes my stomach turn to think about how we treat people sometimes.

__________________________________________
Exerpt #2 

Do you ever wonder if you're going down the wrong path? Like for awhile things look familiar, you're pretty confident you're in the right place then its like all of a sudden you're looking around asking yourself...."where the hell am I at?" You really can't remember veering off course & you're not sure if you took a wrong turn or not, but you find yourself asking about a billion questions and none of the answers make sense. You start yelling & even though people can hear you...they're not listening. Yes, there is a difference. It's SO frustrating. Anyway - enough complaining. Hey, we all have our days!

__________________________________________

Exerpt #3 - This one cracks me up, only because it is SO true.

So, I've never really had the whole "timing" thing down. I actually feel like I'm pretty decent at a lot of things, but I can openly admit that when it comes to timing...I just flat out suck. 

"Two people can be perfect for each other but if the timing's wrong it's never going to work out. Bad timing is the reason that most normal people end up single. Weirdos and creeps are single cause they are weird and creepy but people like us are single because of bad timing. " -Adam Levy (Love & Sex)

__________________________________________

Exerpt #4

For me, life is about learning...everyday. I learn to be a better daughter, friend, follower of Christ, employee, student, etc. It's pretty crazy when you think about it...all the roles you play in your own life you sometimes don't realize the role you play in the lives of others. I said it a few blogs ago that even though it may seem like things have bad timing in our own lives, everything in life happens with perfect planning from God. Although we sometimes fail to see the purpose of the plan that is unfolding, we must understand that it will all make sense in the end. Faith and patience....it's what I live by - or try to anyways. 

It's funny how life turns out is usually the total opposite of how we imagined it would.

see you soon...

<a href="http://media.photobucket.com/image/ashley signature/lovie42086840/Weird Randomness/bio_ashley_signature.jpg?o=44" target="_blank"><img src="http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t187/lovie42086840/Weird%20Randomness/bio_ashley_signature.jpg" border="0"></a>

Long time no see!

So, I've been busy. Okay, okay...I've been ridiculously busy. I'm not even sure anyone actually missed my blogs, but I missed writing them! So here were are.....as I procrastinate studying for Biology exam. Hmmph. I just can't muster up the motivation to do anything that involves my brain to function on some sort of an intellectual level. Hey, you can't win them all, right?

When I was 20, if you would have asked me what I thought I would be doing when I was 28 I probably would have told you working, being a wife, and a mom. Funny how the plans you often make for yourself aren't even close to the plans the big man has for you. The more of life I live the more I believe in fate and the more I believe in God's plan for my life. I gave up trying to figure that out a long time ago. I figured that He would bring people into my life when He felt like I was ready for them and put me in situations where I would be in trouble if I didn't trust Him. I never would have planned out the story that has actually been written for me, but I am so thankful He is better at writing this book than I am. I often feel undeserving of a lot of things in my life. I am beyond blessed to share this life of mine with some incredible people. These people have challenged me, encouraged me, and loved me....all in perfect timing.

I feel like if I would have been writing my own novel it wouldn't have been as exciting. I would have a nice house, loving husband, a stable job, and a couple of cool kiddos. Not that I don't want all of that, but looking back...I was never really ready for any of that. I am finally starting to figure out who I am...who God meant for me to be. I feel like you can't REALLY know anyone else until you know yourself and just recently have I discovered that. I'll be the first to admit that my path isn't always clear. I make my fair share of mistakes and I know that I always will. The one thing I do know and can always fall back on is that my story is still being written....every day. When I feel like I'm standing still its only because the next page hasn't been written yet. I find comfort in knowing that the best is yet to come and that its something bigger and better than I could have ever planned for myself.

I promise to write more often. I hope you like reading as much as I like writing. =)

see you soon.

Cheers to 2010....

As the end of 2010 approaches I find myself reflecting on probably the most eventful year of my life. I started school again to become a Physician Assistant. It's been difficult and at times I've wondered what in the hell I got myself into, but at the end of the day I always know in the back of my mind that this is what I was meant to do.

I met a lot of really great people, rekindled friendships with some old friends, and had probably the most fun summer of my life. I spent a lot of time thinking about my life this year. What I wanted, where I saw myself, and what was really going to make me happy. Not like happy right now, but like truly happy. I'm usually extremely stubborn in the fact that I feel like I don't need other people to be happy and over the last year I realize that the people in my life ARE what make me happy.

It's funny how I said I would never move back to southern Illinois. I lost a lot when I made that decision back in 2003. I sometimes wonder what my life would be like had I moved back or never left at all. But, I did leave and I didn't move back (for good) until this summer. I finally feel like I'm at "home". This place is me and I think it always has been. Sometimes the path isn't always clear, but just because we can't see where the road in front of us leads doesn't mean we should stop walking. My path just happened to lead be right back where I started from. I think that's the funny thing about life - you often find the answers in places you never expected.

Here's to one hell of a 2o1o & hopes for a 2011 that is better than anythying I could have ever imagined. Have an extremely blessed Christmas and a safe and happy New Year.


until next time...

measure of a man...rest in peace, Cal

Life is crazy. Sometimes I don't get it....okay most of the time I don't get it. As a God-fearing Christian I find the ultimate test of my faith is to not question Him when something goes wrong. It's SO hard and something I struggle with often. I attempt to find refuge in the fact that when life begins there is a plan created. Bigger than anything I could ever dream of for myself. I feel that once we carry out that plan, we have done the work God intended us to do on this earth & He calls us home....

A great man was called home yesterday. Dan Callahan was one of the most incredible people I have ever had the privelege to meet and know. He was extraordinarily passionate about people. He was caring, selfless, compassionate, sincere, and probably every other adjective I could find abut being a "good person". I valued and trusted his opinion. I can't even being to count the number of lives he touched between the community of southern Illinois, his Saluki family, his family & friends, and even just people involved with the game of baseball. It's amazing to me that one person could have so much impact on so many people and if you met Cal, even once, you knew he was a lot of things to a lot of people. Son, husband, father, uncle, cousin, coach, friend.

There are countless stories that will be shared among friends over the next few days and for a lifetime. I think everyone who reads this has probably gotten a hand written 'Thank You' card from Cal or a hello and a handshake. I would bet all the money I could get my hands on that if he was shaking your hand, he knew your name and if it was the first time meeting you, he'd never forget it. I think everyone has a different definition of a 'great person' or qualities that make up those people in your life who you just know are special. It's amazing to me that we can all agree Cal would fit into that role in all of our lives.

When I was a Grad Assistant at SIU & covered Baseball for two seasons, I got to know Cal pretty well. He never called me Ashley, always Ash. Even little things like that - felt like he truly cared about you. We kept in touch over the years. Would always enjoy seeing 'dcal' in my email inbox. When I was working for the St. Louis Blues a year after I had graduated, I got a card from him at work thanking me for caring so much about Saluki Baseball. Just this last spring, Chris Stone, Katie Louis and I went to a game. He had e-mailed me the day before to make sure I was coming. He said I don't care if we lose by 10...you come see me after the game. Well, SIU lost 13-1. I walked over to the dugout and he gave me a hug and talked to Katie and I for awhile. That's the last conversation I ever had with him in person and I'll never forget it.

When we lose people we love we are fast brought back to a reality we are all guilty of ignoring. Its almost as if we get so busy living out our day to day lives we forget about the things that really matter. Knowing the man that Cal was makes me want to be a better person. I am guilty of taking for granted the people in my life and Cal never did that. Think about that the next time you meet someone new.

Its funny how when you first meet someone you never really know what purpose they will serve in your life. I had no idea the day I met Cal that he would become a man I have grown to admire so much. His zest for life and for all the people in it are something I hope to carry with me forever.

(((hugs))) to all who read this. May you find peace and comfort in knowing he's in a place where there is no hurt. I feel more than honored and beyond blessed to have known Coach Cal, the epitome of a truly great man...I hope you are too.

until next time...

Things I am Thankful For...Part 1

So, here we are...5 days into November & I'm a little irritated that Mother Nature totally jipped us out of a Fall. It went from like 80 to 40 in what, two weeks. Okay, that's probably way off, but you get what I mean.

Anyway, I'm going to post a *Special* Thanksgiving post once a week until the big day. I'm going to start out pretty light hearted & get more serious as we get closer so don't think I'm not thankful for my family, friends, etc. I'll get there.... Until then, have way too much fun reading this & hopefully laughing a little. *hugs*

I am THANKFUL for:

• Stash's Black Chai Spice Tea
• Kentucky Wildcats Basketball
• Family Guy
• Crosswalks on campus
• Backscratchers
• My wedge knee high cuff boots from Nordstrom
• North Face
• John Wall
• St. Louis Blues Hockey
• People who appreciate my love of random trivia
• People who can quote movies with me
• Scarves
• Clean sheet day
• McDonald's UNsweet Iced Tea
• My Chem lab parter Erica
• Les Mills BodyCombat
• Bobby pins for Blonde hair
• Naps
• Thin Mint girl scout cookies
• shortcuts
• flip flops
• pedicures
• acoustic guitars
• guys that play acoustic guitars
• Nachos
• Hot wings
• Ice cold beer
• Shiraz
• Jalapeno flavored chips

I know... These are super random, but I am super random so it fits quite well. Check back for Part 2 next week! =) New blog up Monday. Have a great weekend lovely people.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Yeah, I realize it's September, but so much has gone on in the last week to remind me how many things in my life I have to be thankful for. I know it sounds crazy, but I'm thankful for moments. Im all about the little things. I mean after all, it's the little things added together that are the big things....the really big things. You know, those things that completely change our way of thinking. Isn't it crazy how fast that can happen and often when you least expect it? I feel like the people who are constantly trying to PLAN PLAN PLAN miss out on those little moments....those little moments make me happy (& thankful).

So - my yearly love affair is about to begin. If you know me, you know how much I love the month of October. October in southern Illinois is just about as good as it gets. The leaves change color, the air is crisp, but the sun is still shining. The smells, the pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks and I can now officially start wearing the AMAZING boots in my closet I have been staring at for the better part of the last month! This month I have 2 weddings and 3 homecomings. Busy little bee as always....come on - does that surprise you?!

Short post tonight. School is crazy right now and I feel like all I do is study, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's pretty amazing!

See you soon. =)

In Loving Memory...

I've been laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling for the better part of 2 hours. My body is so tired, but my mind is racing. I'm not a very emotional person. I'm the one who holds it all together. The one people come to when they are sad or need someone because they know my even-keeled demeanor holds the emotional stability they NEED. Sometimes...I just can't take it anymore and tonight is one of those times. A friend of mine was killed in Afghanistan this week in a helicopter accident. He was 25. His name is Josh Powell and you can read about this incredible American hero here... http://http//www.sj-r.com/breaking/x459820083/Plains-grad-among-dead-in-military-helicopter-crash-in-Afghanistan

He was my cousin Brett's best friend.....definitely like family to him and my heart is completley broken. I hate it.

At a time when there is so much I want to say, I realize that sometimes, there are no words.

See you soon.

Not a fan.....

So, I hate saying goodbye. I mean it might be my least favorite thing to do. Yes, I hate it more than I hate blow drying my hair in the morning and if you know me - you know how much I loathe that. I met a lot of great people this summer. I forged new friendships, rekindled old ones, and spent most of the summer surrounded by people who make my life absolutely incredible. I'm a big 'one day at a time' kinda person. I'm extremely organized, but definitely not a planner. I like making last minute decisions and flying by the seat of my pants...that's just how I roll. So, when all this fun was happening this summer, I wasn't thinking about having to say goodbye in a few months. NOT FUN. But, that's life. If it weren't constanly changing, we would never change. If doors didn't close, they couldn't open. C'est la vie.

Speaking of change....isn't it awesome. Most people are scared to death of it. I embrace it. I mean there are those perfect moments we wish time would stop and we could live it forever, but the reality of the situation is that even though moments are perfect, but life isn't. It's messy, it's designed to break your heart. It's wired to teach us invaluable lessons, leave us speechless, and bring us to places we never knew existed. I like not knowing what's going to happen next. I used to have that need to know attitude. Constantly looking for confirmation that things were going to be okay, work out (in my favor). After a plethera of disappointment, I decided that sometimes not knowing is best.

My host brother is heading back to New Mexico for the off season tomorrow. He was only with us for a couple of weeks, but he quickly became a part of our family and we are definitely going to miss him. Our little Yorkie, Maggie, is going to miss him the most I think. They've become pretty good buddies. =)

So, here's to not knowing, taking life one day at a time, and embracing the change that keeps us on our toes. See you soon.

If I could do it again....

Have you ever been driving along the highway and a song comes on and as you're singing the words it takes to back to a specific moment in your life that you remember so vividly it were as if it happened yesterday? It happens to me all the time. These lyrics take me back to places that I wish I could revisit, some places I wish I'd never been, & even places I hope to be in the future. They remind me of people I love, people I loved & lost, and my family. It's like these constant reminders of the journey I've taken to get to this exact moment in my life. Its kind of crazy really...how music and lyrics allow me to relive all these emotions. Some of them are completely welcome and some I could definitely do without.

So with that said...if you could go back and change one of those moments would you? How would your life be different? Would it be different at all? Sometimes I'm not sure what I would do. I have my fair share of regrettable moments. You know those things you just know you're going to regret the minute after? Not even the things you've done, but the things you didn't do. I swore when I turned 27 I wasn't going to have any of those "shoulda, coulda, woulda" moments and just truly LIVE. Not leaving things up to chance and just really putting myself out there, completely exposed for others to see. I lost and gained a lot of friends and I can finally say I feel like I'm becoming the me I'm supposed to be, so to speak. If you know me, you know my goal in life is to get where I'm going and not have to look back and say "I wish I would have...." I want to do it all, see it all, be it all. I want to fall in love, be the best friend someone could ever ask for, be the best daughter to my incredible parents, & someday be an incredible parent to kids of my own. I feel like the only way I can get there is not having regrets and just really living life....taking chances, making mistakes, and learning the lessons.

So, here's to the lyrics that write the stories, that shape my life, and remind me of a past I will never regret, a present I am loving, and a future that is full of love and amazing people to share it with.

See you soon.

She doesn't own a dress...hair is always a mess.

1) I actually own several dresses, but rarely wear them and 2) Yes, my hair is usually a mess. This song popped up on my Pandora while I was attempting to do some Chemistry homework before class and I decided to write a blog instead. I have the attention span of a gnat, I swear.

So, this whole going back to school thing has brought a gammit of emotions with it. Granted I still get carded to buy scratch off lottery tickets because I definitely don't LOOK 27, its kind of weird being a non-traditional student. I am a big people watcher....and not being involved in campus life at all allows me to sit in the Student Center and just be an onlooker. I thought that 3 hour break in between classes was going to be rough...not anymore. People watching is so fun. I think everyone should try it. I like living in my parents basement, but I do not like not having any money...someday though, right? I've never been one of those people who can sit still. I've always had more than one job which I actually like until it's time to do my taxes. Then I just play dumb and my mom does them for me. Woot.

Labor Day weekend was awesome. Hung out with a lot of great people and had a really good time. I had an amazing summer. I moved back in an effort to "Start over" and certainly had the chance to do just that. I have quickly realized that my life has so many different pieces to the puzzle and that each piece has made me every last bit of who I am. I am completely grateful for the people who force me to take life head on, for those who allow me to make the mistakes that teach me the invaluable lessons, and for those who are just so special to me that I can't find the words to thank them. You know those people who, when you meet them, you feel like they exist in your life for a specific purpose? THOSE people make my heart happy.

I have learned alot this summer...alot about myself and about other people. I can't say that I understand the conviction of people's actions any more than I did before, but I have learned that people aren't perfect and that my expectations of others should be simple. Growth is so important in any friendship/relationship. My appraoch to life can be summed up in this quote...

"The best things in life are unexpected because there were no expectations." -Eli Khamarov

Until next time...

My World of Wow....

I don' t think I'm a normal girl and many of my friends/family would agree. I mean I like to shop, have a SERIOUS addiction to Sephora, have 6 pair of black high heels, 8 LBDs (little black dresses), and I LOVE jewelry. However...I play Fantasy Football, know the difference between a breaking ball and a curveball, can tell you every team in every major college basketball conference in the NCAA and never take off my Kentucky Wildcats power balance bracelet. Oh, and I am on ESPN Radio. See what I mean. I'm confusing to most people... and by most people, I mean men. I have found myself in more awkward situations in the last month than most people will experience in a year. I make a ridiculous amount of mistakes, I hate making plans, and I enjoy flying by the seat of my pants. I am an eternal optimist and live to see the good in everyone (most of the time). I teach aerobics classes, I am going to school to be a Physician Assistant. I have been in 2 serious relationships my entire life. I'm 27 and I live in my parents basement. I don't smoke, I drink cheap beer, expensive vodka, & I love red wine. I don't believe in religion, but I have a faith in Jesus Christ as my Lord and personal savior that sets my heart on fire. I trip over my own feet alot, I have an obsession with guys who play the guitar.

What's the point of telling you all this???? All of THAT (glancing above to the snapshot of my life) is where I get my ammunition for my "stories". I say that b/c sometimes I wish they were stories and not works of non-fiction that make up my life. You will probably get to the end of some of these blogs and think no way.... or WOW. Welcome to my "World of...wow". Feel free to laugh with me as I laugh at myself because life is way too short to be anything but happy...see you soon.